You could go as a ventriloquist dummy, but everyone would assume you were Republican Speaker…
- Chris Crofton
We’re going to need to start calling things what they are, for starters
- Chris Crofton
I freaked out during the first few sessions, and each time different people took my blood pressure, and each time I told them about my entire childhood
- Chris Crofton
Our only hope is that the low-wage earners realize we're on the same side
- Chris Crofton
Men are being groomed by right-wing politicians and podcasters to become bitter, one-dimensional battering rams
- Chris Crofton
This is the first question I’ve gotten in months that isn’t about the end of the world!
- Chris Crofton
Landlords were not divinely ordained to be property owners
- Chris Crofton
How do we remain hopeful while the people in power in America insult immigrants and call the poor 'parasites'?
- Chris Crofton
Mindfulness is no substitute for a middle class. Meditation doesn’t work as a co-pay.
- Chris Crofton
When we treat loss of life as a setback, we have lost the plot
- Chris Crofton
Face it, America: We all did this together, and racism won’t fix it
- Chris Crofton
In the age of global warming, being oblivious is a leadership quality
- Chris Crofton
The fact that I don’t follow football could be related to the fact that I could never throw a spiral properly. It’s either that or all the wedgies.
- Chris Crofton
Don’t be scared. Every time you get scared, listen to the song 'Sing' by The Carpenters.
- Chris Crofton
J.D. Vance has no business telling anyone what they can or can’t do
- Chris Crofton
I recently stayed in a motel that had an A.I. desk clerk. Sadly, I am not kidding.
- Chris Crofton
Advice King dips into his extensive archives as a palate cleanser during our stressful times
- Chris Crofton
This question could be about anybody. Anybody alive in this extremely stupid period of world history.
- Chris Crofton
The short answer: Not participating in democracy is not an option
- Chris Crofton
How do you express in prose the indignities of 2024 Tennessee?
- Chris Crofton
Do what I do: watch YouTube videos about exploring abandoned mines
- Chris Crofton
Sooner or later, we are all forced to engage with this noncommunicative health care system
- Chris Crofton
Let’s comfortably house Uber drivers, musicians and Waffle House staff. And fix the potholes that are destroying their vehicles.
- Chris Crofton
The Metro Council will hold a public hearing next week on approving a city contract with Fusus
- Chris Crofton
CBS’ 'Nashville’s Big Bash' featured Lynyrd Skynyrd and Rob Schneider, for some reason
- Chris Crofton
The way I feel in the winter is harrowing. Here are some things that can help.
- Chris Crofton
Let's try less hand-wringing and more hand-holding
- Chris Crofton
Public schools are an essential part of a functional, humane society
- Chris Crofton
The streets of Nashville seem to be a free-for-all
- Chris Crofton
The state’s Multi-Agency Law Enforcement Training Academy in Nashville will cost $415 million and take up 800 acres
- Chris Crofton
The kind of stuff people do while they are procrastinating borders on the avant garde
- Chris Crofton
There is a way to make a difference, and you can do it
- Chris Crofton
Average citizens are not being taken seriously
- Chris Crofton
'Gerrymandering' isn’t in the Bible, either. If it was, the Romans would have been the supermajority doing it.
- Chris Crofton
The number one killer of children in America is guns
- Chris Crofton
You wouldn’t put your money in a bank called 'Chris Crofton’s Cold Brew Got Me Like Bank,' would you?
- Chris Crofton
It turns out big conglomerates don’t care about facts — they care about dividends
- Chris Crofton
I was really hoping this question was going to be about seasonal depression, so I’m going to make it about seasonal depression
- Chris Crofton
The moneyed class's vision for America is something along the lines of, 'Cheeseburgers for the strong, the gutter for the weak'
- Chris Crofton
This Christmas, break the cycle — be honest with yourself, and be honest with others
- Chris Crofton
If I were a younger man, I’d be trying to get an acid-house revival going in Johnson City
- Chris Crofton
The good news: Your nephew isn’t crazy.
- Chris Crofton
Is a legendary music venue being dwarfed by a giant hotel a metaphor?
- Chris Crofton
Before you blame yourself for your lack of money, consider blaming society
- Chris Crofton
If this happened in 1979 you’d have to go to a roller rink wearing a huge astrology medallion to meet someone
- Chris Crofton
Capitalism does not like spirituality. It gets in the way of profits.
- Chris Crofton
I said she had Corgi pallbearers and that a Corgi gave her eulogy. Somebody yelled at me about that.
- Chris Crofton
I would describe The New York Times opinion staff as 'The Navy Seals of Out-of-Touchedness'
- Chris Crofton
State Sen. Paul Bailey sponsored legislation that would hypothetically criminalize Jesus
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- John Glennon
As the Major League Soccer season draws to a close, the Boys in Gold are chasing trophies
- Scene Staff
In 2022, Tennessee’s Republican supermajority carved Nashville into three new congressional …
